47th Entry

IT.SUCKS.BEING.ME

How I wish I can spend one day living someone's life instead..


Not all scars show, not all wound heals.
Sometimes, u can't see the pain someone feels


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46th Entry

I.SERIOUSLY.NEED.HAPPY.PILLS

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can’t utter.



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45th Entry

Hmmm... Came across an article.. N somehow it scares me.. It's abt a Maltese urgently need to find a foster/owner.. Cos in a rental HDB, u can't own a dog... I din Noe it till I came across this article... And I'm speechless.. Juz because it's a dog, So we dun have to care abt their feelings??
Dunno why can't they juz be more flexible abt the rules/laws etc.. It's not as if the dog is agressive n post a danger to ppl... N the owner is an old lady.. How will she feel? They are inseparable.. The Maltese is already 7yrs old... Can they imagine how hurting it is to be separate from something u have grown so attached too? No they won't Noe!!
For me... I've just got cookie for only 1 1/2 yrs... And my bond with cookie already so strong... I will rather die than to live without her... It may sound very fake... But this is how I really feel... My life have nv been this meaningful till I've got her.. Though I used to have a dog when I'm young... But the bond I've with cookie can't be explain thru words... I can accept if one day cookie pass away due to old age etc... But I can't accept if it because of some god damn rules/laws...
Someone once ask me if I will to choose between my bf and cookie.. Which will I choose... I din even have to think abt it... I choose cookie... Many frens say I'm obsessed with her... I won't denied... Cookie is like my oxygen/motivation for me to keep on going... If I will to live a life without her... I guess I will no longer laugh.. There will no longer be colours in my life anymore...

Pls god... Dun ever let this things happen to me...


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44th Entry

I'm back from my hk trip le...
Well didn't went shopping much.. We went Disney n ocean park :) but I went shopping alone on my 3rd day... Hehe.. A new experience..
Hmmm... But when I came back to sg... The first thing that welcome me back is I quarrel with R again... 2mths n we already had 3 big quarrel.. I really think it's bad... Always over the same god damn thing...seriously I'm mentally tired le... I dun feel like holding on.. He say I did nth on my part... But wad he wan me to do?? I dare to say I did put in effort..he juz dun appreciate it... And some words once haul out, it can never be taken back... And everytime we quarrel... He always say many nasty things.. And it really hurts alot... Though I did say nasty stuffs too.. He say he like me... Haha... But I can't feel it... My normal guy frens treat me way better than he did.. They cherish me.. But I feel he seem to take me for granted.. After this quarrel... Some things change... My feel towards him change.. There seems to be a barrier.. Juz that both of us choose to ignore... Words he said keep playing over n over again in my mind...
I'm juz a simple gal.. I juz need someone that can pamper me.. Love me with his all... I dun need someone that keep on wanna change me... Cos once change.. It'll never be me le... Cos I believe if u really love a person, u gotta accept their flaws too...
Anyway, this is the last chance I'm giving him le... If we quarrel again over the same issue... I'm leaving le... Even if he will to beg etc... I will not give in...

Will upload my trip pics soon :)


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OFF TO HONG KONG


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43rd Entry

Hmmm... I dreamt of *Him last night... When I woke up... I realize it's a dream after all.. How I wish someone can lead me out of this misery... I've seem to be sinking deeper into a pit hole... Which I can't seem to find a way out...
This dream makes me think abt wad I truly want.. Makes me think abt wad I want from R... But the more I think the more I'm confuse... I seriously dunno how am I suppose to choose... To stay or to leave?! I dunno what's lie in the future... Cos I'm lost.. I can't think clearly...
But one thing I Noe clearly is... I do miss *him...

2more days to my holiday... Looking forward to it...


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42nd Entry

Woo hoo~ finally I can count down to my hk trip le...but I'm so so lazy to
Pack my luggage... Hmmm... Maybe tonight I shall start packing already.. In case tmr or tuesday I'm
Going out..
Hopefully I will be able to enjoy myself.. N able to find some doggie staffs...
Well... I think baby somehow or rather Noe I'm going away... Cos this few days she getting even more sticky to me... And while I'm cleaning my luggage, she sat there quietly.. N dun allow anyone to go close it.. She will try to bite whoever touch my luggage.. She getting more possessive of me n my belongings... Zzz

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41st Entry

Finally my mens come already... Haha...cos Ive been Praying n waiting for it to come... As I'm going for my holiday next week, so now I can truly enjoy le... If not I'm so worry that my mens will come during my trip... Anyway I'm starting to look forward le... Hmmm... Wonder will I be able to find the pet shop over there... So I can buy some apparels n treats for my baby :)



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40th Entry

Last night I was brushing cookie's fur... And I decided to plait up her ear... Hehe.. Cos her ear was very long le... And I can't bear to cut it short... Anyway she seems to like her new hair style alot...









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说了再见

天亮了雨下了你走了

清楚了我爱的遗失了

落叶飘在湖面上睡着了

想要放放不掉泪在飘

你看看你看看看不到

我假装过去不重要

却发现自己办不到

说了再见才发现再也见不到

我不能就这样失去你的微笑

口红待在桌脚而你我找不到

若角色对调你说好不好

能不能就这样忍着痛泪不掉

说好陪我到老又狠往哪里走

再次拥抱一分一秒都好
你的笑你的好脑海里一直在绕
我的手忘不了你手的温度
心碎了一地捡不回从前的心跳伤心过去我无力逃跑
说再见才发现再也见不到

39th Entry

喜欢我的人很多，为何我会执着于他？？
我真的不想再和他有什么关系。
现在的我好辛福！
我已经学会好好的爱自己。。。


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38th Entry

Hmmm.... Recently dunno wad the fuck happenin to me... Been feeling moody/tired/irritated.... Maybe my PMS coming ba... Plus cookie rashes still haven recover yet..one of my friend really sweet.. He come all the way juz to see how is cookie now... Happy to have someone to reassure me that cookie rashes is going to heal le...
Anyway I will be cutting cookie fur real short now.. And slowly regrow.. Cos the vet shave off one patch so it's rather uneven now... But I'm in a lost now.. Dunno wanna send her to PLC vivo or back to bernard place... Cos I've never send her to vivo for grooming before... So dunno there gd or not... Well... Mostly after my trip I will send her for her grooming...
I seriously can't wait to get away from sg... I'm mentally exhausted...



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